A friend recently told me about a national convention he attended with a Fortune 500 company. The corporation invited their employees to listen to famous speakers and seminar leaders and, to keep things interesting, be entertained in the hallway between meetings. The company paid jugglers, magicians and acrobats to circulate among and amuse the delegates. But the most popular entertainer at the convention was the fortune teller. My friend said people were lined up a hundred deep to have their tomorrows told by a person who, a moment earlier, didn’t even know their name.
Most of us are interested in knowing what’s going to happen in the future. Some people read their horoscope, others consult palm readers or fortune tellers, but all of us have a hunger to know what lies ahead. There is simply something in our soul that craves a glimpse into tomorrow.
In talking with couples who are contemplating marriage, I try to help them to look into the future and "predict" what their marriage will look like in the years ahead. There are, of course, no guarantees that my future casting is accurate, but certain marriage predictions are a pretty safe bet with every couple. Here are four predictions I make as I look into their future:
1. At some point in the not-too-distant future, your romantic feelings will fade. For many couples this happens in the three to five year period, but it can come earlier. Sometimes the cause is external: kids, increased demands, job pressure. Often, they are internal: a bad attitude, depression, or inattentiveness. Whenever and however it comes, be prepared for the inevitable down turn of emotions and resolve to ride out the rough spots. If you act in a consistently loving manner, the romantic feelings will return in time.
2. One, or both, of you will deeply disappoint the other. During the course of a multi-year marriage it is inevitable that one of the partners will drop the ball big time. Perhaps one will intentionally embark on a course of corrosive conduct. Don't set yourself up for a fall by bragging "My spouse would never do such a thing". You're married to a human. Whenever and however disappointment appears, resolve to seek or grant a double dose of forgiveness.
3. If you choose to have children, they will not strengthen your marriage. There is a fatal idea that still lurks in the minds of some couples: "If we just have children, our marriage will improve." This little fiction was invented by the same guy who predicted smooth sailing for the Titanic. Children don’t strengthen, they stress a marriage. Don’t have kids in a vain attempt to draw your mate closer. Whenever and however kids come, resolve to work even harder on your couple relationship.
4. If you make your marriage a priority, it will be the most rewarding relationship you will ever experience. Any marriage can fail, but most can succeed if you commit the time and effort needed.
What does your future look like? You can’t always predict tomorrow, but you can influence it by being prepared for the inevitable disappointments and persevering through the rough times. Marriage is not a sprint, but a marathon into the future.
