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"Child Warning Label" by Jim Priest
Most products carry some kind of warning label. Our hair gel advises us not to ingest it. Our step ladder tells us not to stand on the very top rung. Many of these warnings are simply common sense and not really needed.
I think it would be a better expenditure of time and energy to place warning labels on items that are really dangerous and about which we have no clue. Like our children. I wished I’d received a warning label on my kids when we received them from the hospital. Something to caution me about the hazards associated with raising children. I envision a yellow and black label, pasted to the baby’s backside, spelling out the risks inherent in taking home a seemingly innocent looking kiddo.
Environmental Hazard Alert: Once a child arrives, your home environment will never be the same. For several years you will be obliged to handle and dispose of hazardous waste products. Your kitchen floor will be littered with crumbs and your living room will be a wasteland of discarded toys. When you walk through the house in the middle of the night your bare foot will be punctured by a stray miniature dinosaur. Young children pose a severe environmental danger.
Warning: Child is Under Pressure and May Be Flammable. Any parent who has had a child throw a temper tantrum, or explode in a hormone induced rage, knows the value of this warning. Kids periodically do dumb things and can burst into flames. That’s why they call such actions "childish" behavior. Parents must be prepared to endure some of it and take corrective action.
Children May Be Hazardous if Taken Internally. When you let children into your heart they can provide the most wonderful highs and the most agonizing lows. Children can make you burst with pride but they can also burst your bubble. If kids are internalized, be prepared for heart ache, heart burn and heart swelling affection.
Caution: Children are Closer Than They Appear. This warning is especially important during late adolescence and the teen years. No matter how your kids attempt to keep you at arm’s length and regardless of how much distance they try to put between you and them, your children are closer than they appear. If you provide a home of loving limits, where there are rules with relationship, children will stay close even when they appear to be far away.
Beware of Prolonged Contact. The more prolonged your contact with children, the greater likelihood you and they will be changed. Someone once said, "A baby makes a man out his father and a boy out of his grandfather." and there is some truth in that. Raising children requires our best selves. Kids push us to the limit--and sometimes beyond. For the most part, we are better people because of the stretching we do as parents.
If you know an expectant parent, paste this column to their forehead so they can be forewarned. Forewarned is forearmed and, believe me, when you’re raising kids you need all the warning and arming you can get.
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