|
|
|
|
|
|
"The Role of Mother and Father" by Jim Priest
Poised between Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, I have been thinking about why kids need both a mom and a dad. Let me say, right off the bat, many children are being raised admirably by single parents. I applaud and admire those who work hard at this Herculean task. I am not attacking single moms or dads. What I am attacking is the idea that kids don’t need two parents of opposite gender. They do. Children do best under that kind of arrangement.
I’m sure everyone would acknowledge the necessity of mothers. Moms are always looking out for their kids As author Tenneva Jordan wrote, "A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie." They are the ones who warn us not to run with scissors, to put down the stick that could put someone’s eye out, and to wear a seat belt. Most of our moms want us to be safe and feel loved.
Dads fill a different, but equally important role. One of the things they do is dare us to take risks. A dad may not want us to run with scissors, but he will challenge us to a foot race. No dad ever told his child to put down a stick because it could poke someone’s eye out. Instead, dads urge us to pick up the stick and then engage us in a sword duel.
Even though dads and moms fulfill different roles, they both need to be fully involved in all aspects of parenting. I agree with the advice found in Parenting for Dummies: "There’s a line from the movie Honey I Blew Up The Kids that goes ‘Daddies are for fun; Mommies mean business.’ Who came up with this? You both have to be involved in every aspect of raising your kids. Both Mommies and Daddies are for fun. Both Mommies and Daddies can mean business. Make it so."
Here are three quick suggestions for successful co-parenting:
1. The best thing you can do for your kids is to love your husband or wife. Put a high priority on your relationship. Don’t ever let your mate feel the kids are more important to you than she or he is.
2. Acknowledge and value the different parenting skills and attitudes you each possess. Don’t criticize your mate for not being like you. Don’t nag or harangue them about their parenting deficiencies (we’ve all got them!). Verbally encourage them for the good parenting things they do.
3. Both partners need to take turns doing the "dirty work" of child rearing. That includes cleaning up messes and administering discipline. There is a growing army of resentful moms whose husbands don’t deign to change diapers. Share the child care duties, men!
Not all children will enjoy the benefit of two parents, but those who do will reap the reward of learning life from a man’s perspective and a woman‘s. That’s an invaluable lesson. It was designed to be so.
|
|
|
|
|
|
