I have been involved in the "marriage movement" in Oklahoma for a number of years. I have taught seminars, written columns, spoken at workshops and attended brainstorming sessions on the subject of marriage and divorce. I have been a zealous advocate and supporter of the Oklahoma Marriage Initiative. Many others have spent countless more hours in these endeavors. Hundreds of people across the state of Oklahoma have dedicated themselves to improving marriages and reducing divorce. But I believe all these Good efforts are ultimately futile without the critically important requisite to building strong marriages in Oklahoma:
Prayer.
Prayer is the most needed and mostly missing aspect of the marriage movement. Serious, sustained prayer for individual marriages and for the institution of marriage in our state is what will make the difference.
God has promised to answer us when we call out to Him. But we have not really been calling out to Him about marriage. I know that many opening prayers have been uttered at marriage seminars. I have prayed some of them. I am aware many blessings have been said over the food served at marriage luncheon meetings. I've participated in many. I have heard a hundred sincere prayers spoken on behalf of brides and grooms at wedding ceremonies. But this is not the kind of prayer of which I speak.
I mean prayer that perseveres, persists and finally prevails on behalf of marriages in our state. I am talking about regular, sustained and organized prayer on the issue of marriage and divorce in general, and for specific marriages in particular. We will only pray this kind of prayer for marriage when we become convinced of its necessity.
I have recently become convinced of prayer's necessity in the marriage arena. I believe if Satan were the CEO of a multinational corporation he would have one thing written on the white board of his corporate board room: "Destroy marriages". That's his corporate strategy. That's his scheme. Nothing destroys the lives of individuals and families like divorce or unhappy marriages. If Satan succeeds at nothing else, he will be content to have sown seeds of marital discord that blossom into discontent or divorce. This strategy is spiritual warfare at the highest level and can be stopped by nothing less than the intervention of God. We need to call for that intervention through our prayer.
In our sincere efforts to strengthen marriages and reduce divorce in Oklahoma we often act as "functional atheists." A functional atheist (as I recently learned) is one who professes faith in God, but acts as though nothing will get done if we humans don't do it. That has characterized many of my efforts to solve the divorce problem in Oklahoma. I have been attacking divorce with programs when we need to attack it with concerted prayer. We really need is to ask, in prayer, for God Himself to strengthen marriages and to reverse the tide of divorce.
I trust you will not misunderstand my meaning. I am not denigrating the efforts of anyone associated with the marriage movement. To the contrary, I am a wholehearted advocate for the planning and programs that have been instituted. But standing alone, without the underpinning of prayer, we are constructing a house of cards. All our programs and promises will wither without prayer.
That is why I humbly call upon the people of Oklahoma to begin praying fervently, regularly, and specifically for marriages and against divorce.
Here are some suggestions to guide our prayers:
On Mondays, pray that marriage would be held in honor by all. Hebrews 13:6 Pray that God's Spirit will alter public perceptions about marriage, divorce and cohabitation. Pray that divorce and cohabitation would fall into disfavor with the public.
On Tuesdays pray for the new marriages you see around you--many are listed in your local newspapers. Also listed in the papers are the names of those seeking or granted divorces. Pray that these marriages would be reconciled. Pray for both groups of people specifically, by name.
On Wednesday, pray that God would raise up marriage mentors and counselors who would be advocates for marriage. Pray that religious leaders across the State would be serious and sincere advocates of marriage preparation, and would devote themselves to praying for the marriages of their people.
On Thursdays, pray that legislation would be passed and government programs enacted that reduce divorce and strengthen marriage. Pray for success of the Oklahoma Marriage Initiative.
On Fridays pray for marriage ministries like MarriageNetworkOK, Marriage Savers, Family Life Ministry, Focus on the Family, Family Policy Council, Marriage Encounter or any other ministry that devotes itself to strengthening marriages. Pray for the leaders of those ministries, that their own marriages would remain strong and protected by the Lord.
On the weekends (and any other day you desire) pray specifically for your own marriage (if you're married) and the marriages of those closest to you.
Post these ideas on your refrigerator or a place where you will notice them and pray daily. Let's raise our voices in a concert of prayer on behalf of marriage. God's power can and will be unleashed when we dedicate ourselves to pray for marriages in our state.
